Cowboy Humor

 Cowboy Humor

  by

    Mike Capron

Cowboys will supplement their income with a good horse trade. But good doesn’t mean it is a good horse , just a benefit to the cowboys income. A large group of cowboys had gathered to day work on a local ranch. One of the hands saw the opportunity to possibly sell a horse. Every one was gathered saddling and waiting for the boss to show. The horse trader was busy telling about the qualities of his horse, so he was the last to get saddled. Everyone else was mounted and ready to leave with the boss.  No one was interested in the horse trade because he had started the pricing pretty high, knowing it was easier to come down than go up. The boss showed up, so it was time to turn this horse trade into a cow work.   The horse trader quickly swung aboard, but horse trader had been so busy talking, that he hadn’t spent any time warming “Old Sale Barn” up.    Horse trader could ride a pitchin’ horse but “Sale Barn” got the jump on him and bedded him down hard, flat of his back.  But “Horse Trader” wasn’t giving up on his possibilities and as he gathered his first breath he hollered out, “I’ll Take a Thousand For Him”……….

We were watching the San Antonio Rodeo last night and I was amazed at how many people had come to watch some cowboy or cowgirl match wits with the animals in their chosen event.  Everybody in the stands were having a ball……..not to mention all the contestants standing around.    It’s not the thrill of watching someone get hurt. But the element of action of what could happen and people matching wits with the animals.  

 I have seen cowboys break into a fit of laughter when someone’s horse brakes into a bucking fit. I have asked them what was so funny, and they would respond………..not sure, just fun to watch.

Pain is not connected to Cowboy Humor, but discomfort is legal. I have seen cowboys work hours  to get all the elements just right,…….. so a cowboys saddle would be jerked out of his hand by a rope that was tied to a saddle stand in the saddle house,……….when he got outside and just over a mud puddle the rope jerked the saddle out of his hand, certainly making his next move wet and muddy.

 How about the time a cowboy would kill a big rattlesnake and pack him all day wrapped in his coat tied behind his saddle…………..just so he could coil him up in his cowboy friend’s saddle after it got dark in the saddle house,……….who was stampede afraid of snakes.    Needless to say all had been warned of the possible stampede the next morning when the snake lover stepped out in the daylight from the dark saddle house carrying his saddle with the rattlesnake still coiled up in the the seat of the saddle, just about belt buckle height. 

If you get started playing tricks on one of these prankster pro’s, you could be in for a long term contract . This cowboy would switch Whiskey in his friends bottles. Cheap whiskey was exchanged for a friends high dollar whiskey.  Some cowboys didn’t know the difference, but this trick was pulled on one cowboy who took big offense at this exchange.  He decided to get even without saying anything about it. The next time his whiskey swapping friend was out of camp for a spell, he took his teepee down and covered the ground under his bedroll with tried mesquite limbs. So all was well until “Whiskey Swapper” got into his bed for a well deserved good nights sleep.   The dried mesquite limbs caused more discomfort than drinking bad whiskey.   It took “Whiskey Swapper” several days to come up with a suitable counter prank. After several days of thought, he came up with the idea of creating a parade for the “Whiskey Lover”.  It was nearly the end of the fall works and we would all be headed for town to enjoy the civilian sights.   The “Whiskey Swapper” thought it would be a wonderful sight to see us all following and waving to the “Whiskey Lover” as we paraded to town. Camp was only about a mile from Interstate 10 and his plan was to have a huge pair of women’s panty’s fall out behind the pick-up and flared out like a parachute behind the pick-up that “Whiskey Lover” was driving down the interstate headed to town.  We were all to follow and observe the traffic’s response.  It worked like a charm and the waving and light blinking was a huge success…..Whiskey Lover was in grand wonderment as to what was going on and why so many people were waving to him on the interstate.     

Cowboys aren’t the most vocal people in the world, but usually if you get something out of them, it is worth listening to.

A lone cowboy rode up to a set of corrals that was being built and was surveying the construction. The man building the corrals stopped working and was rubbing his chin contemplating his next move.  He looked at the cowboy and said, I was thinking about putting a top rail on this corral,……….  “What do you Think”….????      The cowboy said,……. “ If I started in San Antonio, I wouldn’t stop at Del Rio. 

We were playing 42 one evening and we were getting beat, but the game wasn’t over.   My cowboy friend had a bad hand and was grieving about his dominos. It was his turn to play and he had to follow suit, which meant he had to play his last high count domino. He played it and exclaimed that the opposing team had just “pulled all his Teeth”.    They lost but not without a good laugh…….!!!!